How to Achieve Your Goals by Focusing on Who You Need to Be, Not Just What You Need to Do

When Doing Isn’t Enough: The Secret to Achieving Your Goals

Have you ever had a goal that you tried everything you could to achieve but were unable to do so? You followed the steps and ticked each box, but nothing happened. Isn’t that annoying? Here’s a little-known fact, at times you’re stuck for reasons other than a lack of effort. You’re not being the person you need to be in order to achieve that goal.

When what you’re doing isn’t working, challenge yourself to change who you’re being in the situation. This shift from “doing” to “being” can unlock a new path to success.

Let’s dive into how this works by breaking down a goal and exploring both the steps involved (the “doing”) and who you need to be (the “being”).

Take One Goal and List the Steps to Achieve It

Let’s say your goal is to get healthier.

You’ve tried before, but no matter how many workouts you do or how carefully you meal prep, you’re not seeing the results you want. Here’s what the “doing” part might look like:

Steps to Achieve Your Goal of Getting Healthier (The Doing):

1. Create a workout plan – Plan to exercise four days a week.
2. Meal prep on Sundays – Prepare balanced, healthy meals for the week to avoid takeout.
3. Track your progress – Keep a journal of your workouts and meals to stay accountable.
4. Set a sleep schedule – Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep to support your body’s recovery.

These are solid, actionable steps. But what if you’re doing all these things and are still not healthier? This is where the “being” comes in.

Who Do You Need to Be to Achieve This Goal?

Sometimes, following the steps isn’t enough because there’s a gap in who you’re being. To reach your goal of getting healthier, you need to look at how you approach each step and who you are in the process.

Here’s how shifting from “doing” to “being” might look:

• Be Consistent: Make a commitment to upholding consistency, even at small rates, rather than only trying to get in shape as fast as possible.
• Be patient: Health changes don’t happen overnight. Be patient rather than trying to solve problems quickly. Patience keeps you going even when things seem to be going slowly.
• Be Kind to Yourself: If you skip a workout, it is not the end of the world. Develop self-compassion. Understand that one mistake is only a part of the process and does not imply failure.
• Be Mindful: Rather than merely counting the number of meals you eat, try to focus on how food affects your body. Consider how various meals make you feel and choose the ones that truly nourish you rather to just adhering to a “perfect” diet.

Why “Being” Matters as Much as “Doing”

Consider it this way: regardless of whether you follow a checklist, you may still find yourself in the same situation if you approach it with the same attitude that has kept you there in the past. Reaching important goals often calls for a shift in who we are rather than just finishing a set of chores.

We can change who we are when we concentrate on who we are. We become healthy instead of someone who is attempting to get healthier. And that’s what makes all the difference because the actions we’re taking now fit a new, successful version of ourselves.

When to Shift from “Doing” to “Being”

How do you know when it’s time to make this shift? Here’s a tip: if you’re doing all the right things and still not getting the results you want, it’s likely a being gap, not a doing gap. In other words, it’s not about what you’re doing; it’s about who you need to become to make those actions truly effective.

This concept applies to all kinds of goals:

• In relationships: If you’re showing up but not feeling connected, try being more open and vulnerable.
• In career goals: If you’re putting in the hours but not advancing, consider being more confident and proactive.
• In personal growth: If you’re reading self-help books but not feeling happier, focus on being more accepting of yourself.

So, the next time you feel stuck, ask yourself: Who do I need to be to achieve this goal? Because sometimes, achieving what we want isn’t about doing more—it’s about becoming more.

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